Bali Shag

So I went on an excursion to wallmart today. So, it's a Saturday morning and Wallmart is packed. People are being stupid and instead of putting their carts in the little designated cart spots they stick them randomly in parking spots. I happened to find a good parking spot up by the doors. I was shocked. I never have luck like this. So I go to turn into the parking spot and there are about 10 carts there.

What does a smart person do? Well, I'm not sure what a smart person does but I drove into the carts. Like it's going to do anything to my car. I'm going about 2 mph. The carts go flying into the grass and all is good.

So I got a cart when I went inside. I'm not quite sure why I got a cart. Maybe I thought that I was getting more than I really was. Those things are massive compared to me. I get into the store and was carting around my massive cart and I didn't really know where I was going. I didn't know this wallmart layout very well.

I whip out my list and was like "Okay, ipod nano case for John. That's in electronics" I make my way to the back of the store and I look at all the ipod cases. I decided on a red one. Then I make my way to the food and try to find swiss cake rolls. I couldn't find them and I ended up in the meat section. I find some processed circular turkey and then go off to find pizza rolls and bread.

I got sidetracked and ended up where the poptarts are. I stuck some in my cart and made my way to the frozen section. Amazingly the pizza rolls, bagels, and swiss cake rolls were all in the same isle. I'm getting looks from people as I'm walking around the store. I'm not really sure why.

I then go to the checkout and ask the lady where the chapstick was. She was like "It's right past checkout 7." It wasn't. It was like 5 checkouts past that. On my way to the chapstick some old guy comments on my hat. "I like your hat." I just smiled and found my chapstick.

I usually get the natural chapstick and at this wallmart it was like three dollars. I was outraged. The only other chapstick they had was the original one that smells like shit. I got both.

The checkout lady had some weird disease on her arm. I was like "eww, she's touching my chicken poppers!"

I get out of the store and was walking to my car and I realized why everyone was looking at me.

I drive home and as soon as I pull into my driveway I realized that I need gas. I drive down to the gas station and I saw that Marlboro Ultralights were buy two get one. I didn't really need cigarettes but I can't pass up a deal like that. Then I ask the guy behind the counter, "Do you guys have Lucky Strikes?" I was shocked that he actually did. These cigarettes are really hard to find. They, of course, only had the non-filtered ones. (the filtered ones are even hard to find) I get a pack of them and a pack of Camel non-filtered for John. I filled up my gas tank and headed home.

My day was pretty awesome and fun-filled now, wasn't it?





To recap the events from yesterday now.

I came home from work and my house smells like shit, literally.
Tinker had exploded everywhere in my room. I was so upset. I hosed down her kennel and washed her bed. She wasn't feeling too good. I gave her some id with her food and she seems to be better today. I'm not sure what made her explode, though. It could have been the dog food I gave her (even though it was all natural). It also could have been the bully or her beef sticks.

I have given up trying to switch her back to all natural food. Maybe I'll try a different brand. Go back to avoderm and quite trying to give her innova. Maybe I should switch back to the pup-eroni dog treats and stop giving her ol' roy. They did have to recall a bunch of their stuff last year. Maybe she's turning out to be like Willow.

Beneful all the way! alie.